July 6: Evolution of cell phones, 80s to now

I remember the day my dad came home with a bona fide telephone installed in his car. There it sat just below the dashboard, occupying the same place the gear shift is located in other cars. The phone was black and it smelled the way brand new technology always smells, like fresh plastic.

It was understood that the telephone was for work purposes. My dad spent a lot of time on the road - I can't remember if he worked in broadcasting or sales at the time - but for a while, his kids loved talking on that phone while we were being driven somewhere. Dad allowed it for a while, it was a novelty after all, but the day came when he told us that the phone was only to be used for emergencies. When he explained to us that it cost money to use that phone, we got the message.

Still, that car phone looked like something out of a James Bond movie. It was super high tech and, if you asked me, I would have guessed that it cost thousands of dollars to install.

-

Since then, I had become aware of a preponderance of portable telephones, at least in television and movies. I remember seeing an old episode of Columbo (they're all old now, aren't they?) where, after killing someone at a construction site, the murderer hauled out a briefcase sized telephone in order to talk to someone. That was probably the stuff of science fiction to TV viewers in the 70s, most of whom would have balked at the prediction that one day, in the not too distant future, we'd be able to carry our telephones in our pockets.

I would have believed it. In my own youth I saw home video game consoles progress from the archaic Atari 2600 to the still impressive Commodore 64 and Nintendo NES. I knew that progress marched on and on but I don't think I would have believed you if you told me that the phone would also be a camera, a calendar, a television, a personal entertainment system, and would offer me relatively quick access to the planet's font of information.

-

People today get anxious when they leave their homes without their phones; they get doubly anxious if they are going on long car rides without them. What happens if you break down? Well, if you have your cell phone, a tow truck is just a phone call away. If you don't have one, you could very well be up a certain creek without a paddle.

But that's exactly what motorists did for about a hundred years before everyone had a cell phone. My car has broken down several times. Sometimes in the winter. Sometimes in the dead of winter. Sometimes in the dead of winter out in the country when I'm miles away from a pay phone. You got a choice. You can walk or you can put your blinkers on and pray that some good Samaritan stops for you. I can tell you that you don't know what relief is until you are similarly stranded and then some unknown driver pulls over for you.

Kids today. They don't have that luxury.

-

The first cell phone that was ever entrusted to me was a flip phone. I was working at a newspaper and I spent a lot of time on the road. The publisher said this would enable me to keep in touch with the office and allow me to make business calls from wherever I was - no longer would I have to find a pay phone (whose numbers have greatly fallen over the past decade.)

Here is what the phone did: It made and received phone calls. I think it also told me what time it was but that's about it. It had the ability to send and receive text messages but I never availed myself of those privileges. You had to compose messages using the 1-0 grid on the phone and it took about five minutes to wish someone a happy birthday.

I was happy to receive such a phone. But later, when Kel said she wanted a phone of her own, I told her I'd look into getting a flip phone for her. This caused a mild state of panic. Kel, who was a teenager, didn't want just a phone that made phone calls. She wanted something that could do all the things that smartphones do. Heck, even last year's smartphone wasn't good enough. She wanted something top of the line, something that wouldn't be obsolete for at least five minutes.

So I clued in that cell phones, for many people, aren't just for utility, they are also status symbols. When you're a teenager, you don't want to be ostracized because you rely on yesterday's technology. No, you want something that will kick your ass into the future. 

-

I also have a cell phone. It is an iPhone SE. It is my third such phone. I became a cell phone owner shortly after my was born; I reasoned that I should always be contactable and that the cell phone would allow for this. My first phone was an iPhone 5. I sold it once the contract expired and got an iPhone SE. I still have it. I won't sell it. No one will buy it. When filly charged, the battery lasts about 10 minutes (30 seconds if the temperature is less than five degrees.)

In my pre cell phone days, also known as the days when I actually had something called spending money, I used to say that I liked that sometimes, people would not be able to get ahold of me. This mindset made me vaguely anxious; I kept worrying that I'd go home to my apartment after a weekend of drinking Dr. Pepper at Amanda Marshall's house only to find a message on my answering machine from someone who wanted to pay me $10,000 to perform magic at the Major Fun Festival but, since I wasn't home, they were going to hire Hans Brickface, the world's only tone dead accordion player, instead.

 

-

In my life, I have seen the categorization of cell phones go from ultra-hip but unnecessary accoutrement to basic human need. In my own neck of the woods, an organization called the Eastern Ontario Regional Network is spending millions of dollars to improve cell phone coverage across the region. They have successfully extracted dollars from the federal and provincial governments in order to accomplish this.

My brother, who hates talking on the phone and prefers communicating via text message, alarmed me about a decade ago when he said he was abandoning the landline at his house. "I never use that phone anymore," he said. "I just use my cell."

Later, I wondered why his announcement made me so sad. I realized that it's because I'm just a reactionary who doesn't like change. I liked the era when we all had phones in our homes and that sometimes, when the phone rang, you didn't know who it was until you picked up the phone. Could be your best friend wanting to go fishing in the creek, could be your grandma calling because she's lonely, could be someone trying to see you a carpet cleaner, could be a boy calling to talk to your sister (this is usually what it was when I was 16), could be Amanda Marshall calling you to see if you want some Dr. Pepper. 

That doesn't happen anymore. The modern cell phone has made the world smaller and it has taken the mystery out of living as well. I am sad to report that screen time occupies so much of my idle hours; it is a habit I would like to break.