July 23: Moonstones and rubies

 I used to own a moonstone.

Really, I did. It was one of the most useful things I ever owned. It allowed me to instantly transport myself around the world. No longer did I have to worry about things like jet lag, flight delays, or airport traffic. All I had to do was use my moonstone outside Jhelom and I could be in Skara Brae in a split second.

Oh yes. That's pure geekspeak, friends. I think that the donor of this title, Kathryn Brunton, will allow it as she is also a geek, though her preferred kingdom is Star Trek while mine is Ultima, the series of fantasy role-playing video games that came out in the 1980s.

In Ultima, there were eight towns that were all dedicated to one of the eight virtues of avatar hood. Skara Brae, for example, was dedicated to spirituality while Jhelom was dedicated to valour. Outside each of these towns was a moon gate. Stepping through them would transport you to another moon gate locale (this depended entirely on the phase of the moon.) 

In Ultima V, you could dig in the ground beneath the moon gate and come up with a moonstone. Then you could bury that moonstone anywhere you wanted to and a moon gate would spring up. Seriously, you could take the moon gate from Skara Brae and put it right beside the moon gate from Jhelom so then Jhelom would have two moon gates? Isn't that silly?

Some people think I have autism.

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If moonstones actually existed, they would be at least as valuable as rubies. Rubies are precious gems that don't do a lot except look pretty. Moonstones have utility. Seriously, if I could invent moonstones, I could probably take care of climate change. The ability to instantly transport anything anywhere in the world would eliminate so many trucks, so many airplanes, so many JOBS. Jimmy Hoffa, if he were alive, would no longer be able to say "if you got it, a truck brought it to you." Huh uh. Moon stones brought it to you. That is all.

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Such sci-fi posturing has been done by writers far better than I. All I know is that if I had invented such technology, my life would be in danger. Certain enterprises would understand that their fortunes were in jeopardy, Bezos included. 

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If you've been together for 40 years, you just celebrated your ruby anniversary. Later this month, my parents will celebrate 50 years together. They'll be golden. Rubies are a decade ago





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