July 22: Picnic

July 22, 2021

Going on a picnic, leaving right away
If it doesn't rain, we'll stay all day.
Did you bring the sandwiches?
Yes I've brought the sandwiches.
Did you bring the salad?
Yes I've brought the salad.
Ready for a picnic here we go.

These are the words of Raffi, Canadian children's entertainer and personal hero of my baby sister. The song is called Going on a picnic and it is from Raffi's 1979 album, The Corner Grocery Store.

The song continues as follows:

Going on a picnic, leaving right away
If it doesn't rain, we'll stay all day.
Did you bring the melon?
Yes I've brought the melon.
Did you bring the apples?
Yes I've brought the apples.
Did you bring the lemonade?
Yes I've brought the lemonade.
Did you bring the cookies?
Yes I've brought the cookies.
Ready for a picnic here we go.

And here is an addition to the song, written by my late best friend, Ozi, sometime in the mid 1980s.

Did you bring the lemonade?
Yes I've brought the lemonade.
Did you bring the applesauce?
Yes I've brought the applesauce.

Did you bring the extra underwear?

No!!!

<SOUND EFFECT: CAR COMING TO A SCREECHING HALT AND THEN DOING A 180.)

If I'm eating applesauce, I'm gonna need that extra underwear.*

That my best friend, now more than a decade gone from us, could destroy such an innocent song with his scatological nonsense is, to me, a testimony to his genius. Thanks to him, I will forever associate Raffi with gastroenteritis. Man, I hope I never have to interview the dude about his Child Honouring gig. I'll start braying laughter. I know I will.

Yes yes yes. I know I am 48. I know I should grow up. I am no longer 12. But God help me, I'm sitting here writing this and tears are coming out of my eyes and I'm still mad at the universe for taking my best friend away from me.

So perhaps like Raffi in the song, we'll do a 180 and focus on happier times.

Here is a picture of my kid on a picnic:

It was August of 2013 and he was about six months old. The reason he looks so happy is because he was showing us that he can sit up all on his own. He might have fallen over shortly after this picture was taken but I'm not sure. The bridge in the background leads to the Land of Really Cute Babies. My son had just been named king for life, which could be another reason why he looks so happy.

We were on a picnic that day. We had gotten lunch at a nearby KFC. I don't think we stayed long after eating. The lack of extra underwear may have played a role in this.

Oh great. I'm giggling again.

When I was in Rosebud, I thought it would be nice to have a picnic on the roof of the Rosebud Hotel, which you could access by climbing a ladder that was attached to the side of the building. That roof was a magical place for me during the brief time I was there (roughly September of 1991 until April of 1992.) I would go up there to write or to pray or to think. Technically, I had a picnic there but only if you define a picnic as eating outside. Once I made tacos and I ate them up there.

I am thinking about all the people who have gone up to that roof with me. Dessi went with me once but that wasn't a good time. Jackie went once and we danced to the song Purple Rain up there. Tannis went once and we played 20 questions up there and she almost stumped me until the very end when I figured out that she was thinking about the moon. I think that Ozi, my late best friend, went up there with me once. Doug Levitt went up there once. Josh and Dan and I went up once and sat out there and talked until the sun went down.

But I guess I've never had a picnic up there.

I invited Sue once but she said she would only go up there if I agreed to wear a robot costume.

Mr. Dictionary defines picnic as follows: "A picnic is a meal taken outdoors (al fresco) as part of an excursion, especially in scenic surroundings, such as a park, lakeside, or other place affording an interesting view, or else in conjunction with a public event such as preceding an open-air theater performance, and usually in summer."

So darn it all, now I remember the last picnic I went on. It was just last week. Kiddo and I were in Cornwall and he wanted Dominos Pizza so I got him one and we ate it on the front lawn of the Presbyterian Church right beside the Dominos. Here is proof:

The late American playwright William Inge won the Puliitzer Prize for his play, Picnic. I saw it performed by the theatre department of Bishop's University in Lennoxville in 1999; it is still the best piece of college theatre I have ever seen.

The play, Picnic, is about a handsome drifter who comes into town and winds up stealing the girlfriend of his homelier college friend. I'm not sure what Inge intended Picnic to be about but for me, the message was that beautiful people tend to get what they want.

* My best friend's original parody also had Raffi spouting some pretty fluent profanity upon learning that the picnic basket was unequipped with undergarments, but I'll refrain from posting those words here.