Dec. 26: What I know about botany

I know that cocaine comes from the coca plant. I know this mostly because of a crappy private eye novel I wrote back in 1990. The protagonist had busted into a secret underground laboratory in Florida where coca plants were being grown in a massive greenhouse. I doubt that could happen in real life.

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Here in Glengarry, botanists warn us to stay away from something called poison parsnip, which is pretty much everywhere. If you get the sap from this plant in your eyes, it can cause blindness. I'm happy they told me this because I was in the habit of collecting sap from random plants and rubbing it in my eyeballs. No more, I tell you. No more.

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Seriously though, as a reporter, I've learned a few things about plants. F'rinstance, there's this invasive species called phragmites (pronounced FRAG-MY-TEEZ) that are pretty much everywhere. They are a tall reed grass that spreads like wildfire and out-competes native plants for water and nutrients. A conservation officer once told me that if they were left unchecked, they could, in theory, cover all of Ontario.

 

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Honestly though, botany might be the key to answering our most vexing problems. It's likely that the cure for cancer, and other diseases, can be found, at least in part, in flora. 

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So I guess I don't know a whole lot about botany.